A lack of thyme (and grace).
I noticed this little lid sitting on the counter forlornly just now--all alone, no jar to cap anywhere in sight--and it reminded me that I am completely thyme-less... and it's all my own fault.
Yesterday, within the span of about 45 minutes, I managed to break my favorite serving platter, knock over a bottle of olive oil (plastic, so no breakage but just spilled oil) and shatter a jar of thyme. Then, while holding my baby on my hip, I walked too close to the side of the door and banged her head right into the door frame. Really hard.
At that point, I was just about ready to commit myself to a padded room for the rest of the day. Or at least until I figure out a way to stop being SUCH a huge klutz.
I have always been clumsy. I constantly have bruises that I don't even remember getting because I just wander through life banging into things. You know that whole spatial awareness thing? That mental skill that gives us an awareness of where we are in the world and where other objects are in relation to us? I think I am a Level Zero on the Spatial Awareness-O-Meter.
Yesterday I was really kind of in a funk about it, though. I liked that pretty green platter, darn it! And I felt wretched about banging Evie's head on the wall. (We both cried for awhile).
My husband says I just need to pay more attention to what I'm doing. To which I want to know: how? In all seriousness, I'm just not sure what kind of mental trick I need to do to somehow pay more attention to my surroundings. It's not like I walk around with a blindfold on. It's not like I didn't see that the door frame was there. My brain just didn't register that I was walking too closely and was about to bonk Evie's head against it.
Eric claims he used to be a huge klutz too, until at the age of 18 he got a job as an ironworker, and suddenly one little trip or mis-step meant plummeting hundreds of feet to an untimely death. He's been a lot more attentive to his surroundings ever since, he says.
I believe him. I imagine that in a life or death situation, I could unlearn my innate clumsiness too. But short of getting a job where I walk around on narrow metal beams hundreds of feet up in the air (my job is challenging enough, thank you very much!) I don't know how to mentally coach my way out of my klutziness.
Until I get that figured out, do not come to my house and ask for foods seasoned with thyme. I have none. Nor will I be able to serve you appetizers on a funky square platter. And don't ask me to carry you around the house unless you want me to bang your head against the wall. On the other hand, if pratfalls make you laugh and you want to observe someone literally tripping over her own feet, come on over to my place. It won't be long before I do something spectacularly ridiculous. I guarantee it.
10 comments:
Yeah, you've been this way your whole life…
:)
I have a focus trick you might try. Just sometime in your day, focus on the soles of your feet. Really think about the balance that is holding you up, the feel of your shoes (or, in the case of barefootedness, the floor). Think about the connected joints between your feet and your shoulders. Every time I do this, I find myself a little more aware of how I move and interact in my enviroment. It only takes a minute, but I find it helps.
this may seem cheesy, but when we got a wii fit, it helped with my balance IMMENSLY. It shows you where you're supposed to be and where you are (usually WAY off) and what it takes to correct it. WHEW! try it some time and you'll be amazed at how far off center your center of gravity really is!
I have had those days...all of it....the breakage, the spilling, the running small children into door frames. When I have days like those I just give up and sit down before I really hurt someone. Good Luck and just remember your aren't alone.
Jen, I think maybe we should have been sisters. Seems like everytime I read your blog I feel like I should have written it (although I am NOT much of a writer :)). I have the same problem. maybe Evie could wear a helmet. :) At least you don't live with a mother-in-law who likes to comment on how you're abusing your children every time you accidently bonk them or scratch them. :) Somehow those comments are easier to take from your husband than your mother-in-law.
Don't feel too bad about the thyme. Thyme isn't a good flavor anyways.
I'd blame it on the time change, myself. In fact, you could perhaps blame a THYME change!! HAHAHAHAHA!
(As you can see, I've been a little short on sleep lately ...)
Well, if it makes you feel any better...yesterday, while visiting Arlington Cemetery (with all the "Silence" and "be respectful" signs and crowds)...A and I were walking. He was tired and I bent down to talk to him while we were walking...and I totally tripped. I mean for several steps I thought I would catch myself, but, no. I finally crashed to the ground, ripped my jeans and skinned my knee. M said he saw me falling, but he thought I was playing around. Maybe other people thought that too...
I don't really recall Eric every being clutsy, but then again, I was too busy running into doors and walls to notice. hehe
I took a pole dancing class, and though I am still a bit clumsy, it really did help. When you dance in 7 inch heals you learn fast how to not fall!
my husband (for that matter, my whole family) give me the same kind of grief about being clumsy. Erik tells me I am "unaware of my hands". So I concur with the frustration of someone telling you "just be aware"- as if I'm choosing to be this way. However, working with children in this modern world has taught me one thing: you can always label it a disorder and then you can claim no responsibility for the mishaps. It works like a charm.
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